I've been MIA

Well, family's here, so you get on the computer less. No time to blog when there's good company and conversation around. :) My grandmother and cousin will be here until Friday and then they are taking Reese back to VA with them -- YIKES! I am happy and sad at the same time. Happy because I know she loves going and they LOVE having her! Sad, because I will miss my baby for the 10 days I will be without her! Then we will all be heading to VA for Easter!! Yea! Well, folks, have a blessed and beautiful Monday. This girl has gotta go eat. ;)

Isn't the weekend suppose to mean relaxation?

Not in my world! Today has already been plagued with errands, errands, errands. I am now relaxing for a few brief moments with a delicious cup of joe. Alex & Raegan will be home from school in T minus 30 minutes. ;) My grandmother and cousin will be shortly behind them, and then Chris. I have to cook dinner, sew a button on Raegan's dance costume, AND get her and myself ready for her show tonight. Tomorrow, well, it's even busier. Which brings me to a thought, if a stay-at-home Mommy is SO busy, why do we gain weight so much more easily than a working mom? Seriously, I feel as though I have ran a short marathon today... and it never stops. So why? Hmmmm...

Thursday Night...

And that means Survivor!!! I love it. I have watched all but one season and that's merely because we were PCSing out of the country -- that's a good enough excuse, right? LOL Whenever they have an all star show and someone from that season is on, I actually get aggravated that I didn't get to watch it. Crazy, I know. Some of my favorites are on this season, Rupert, JT, and James. Oddly enough, though, they all seem a little less likeable than they did last time. I guess you have to play the game differently, and, thus, display an alternate side of yourself, when you are playing against the best of the best. I love this game...

Not helping.

I always seem to sabotage my progress. Tonight, for instance, I had a bowl of cereal for dinner. Nothing exciting like Cocoa Pebbles, no, I had Raisin Bran with skim milk. Innocent enough you think, right? WRONG! Not when there are two HUGE bowls involved. Now I sit here, engorged stomach, and wondering, was two bowls of Raisin Bran worth it? As I am sure you can all imagine, no, it wasn't. So why did I do it? More importantly, why do I ALWAYS do it????

Let's start with how I got here...

Before you can witness my transformation, you must first get to know me.

My name is Autumn. When I was in High School I was determined to be the next Katie Couric. I remember proudly telling the judges that very thing during an interview in one of my many beauty pageants. Yes, I was a beauty queen. I loved it, standing on the stage with all my hair, makeup and perfectly practiced poise. I won a few crowns. I was on a path and nothing would detour me. Or so I thought...

Until I fell in love with Chris. I had always loved this man. I met him when I was a whopping twelve years old. :) But at some point I fell IN love with him. He had set his path as well. He was joining the Air Force. I gladly gave up my path to follow him on his.

I went to school off and on in the early years of our marriage. Five years after we married I had my son. I gave up everything, work, school, myself to stay at home and take care of this beautiful gift. Then a short eighteen months later came my daughter... and a move to a foreign country. I was now officially a stay-at-home Mom and a military housewife, a path I would never have laid for myself, yet here I was... happily, here I was.

Over these years I was transforming, but not into anyone I could recognize. I was gaining weight. I was sitting around the house, not exercising, not pursuing my education, not being independent and working, just sitting around the house in my yoga pants and tanks, eating, gaining more weight everyday, living less for myself and more for my family... bit by bit losing the confident person that stood in front of the judges and proclaimed, "I will be the next Katie Couric."

You don't notice when you lose yourself. It's so gradual, you don't see it. Until that day it hits you. Twelve years, four bases, and three children later it hit me. I was sitting looking at some pictures from a New Year's party, New Year's 2007/2008. I stared at the picture of myself and didn't recognize the woman staring back at me. Autumn was not there, anywhere, not in my eyes, not in my smile, my body, my hair, none of that was me, was it? It was at that moment I knew change had to come... it was at that moment I began my transformation.

So welcome to "The Transformation of Me." I am really on my last leg, but it took two years to get to a point that I was comfortable sharing where I was, what I was trying to be and who I was finally becoming with the rest of the world. At this moment I am just a few months away from my Bachelors. No, not in Broadcast Journalism, but Paralegal Studies. I am 35 lbs away from my goal weight. I am losing the yoga pants and tanks for tight jeans and knee high boots. ;) I can see my new path emerging from this long uphill hike... it was a beautiful hike, one that I truly loved and was grateful to get to walk. I wouldn't have taken any other path, because the long, uphill hike made me the strong woman I am now. But as beautiful as it was, I am looking forward to setting out on my own...

So welcome to "The Transformation of Me." I hope it entertains you, makes you happy, sad, inspires you to transform into the person you see in yourself!

~ Autumn

"Don't ask what the world needs. Ask what makes you come alive, and go do it. Because what the world needs is people who have come alive." ~ Howard Thurman